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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Disappointment HURTS!!!

Relevant Ministry Blog Schedule:
Tuesday - "About Spiritual Health in Life and Ministry"

Thursday - "About Relevant Women"

by Cyndi Coleman
Sometimes believing God will handle a situation does not mean that a particular situation will turn out positively. Meaning what we want or desire may not be what happens. In fact, the outcome or results may actually bring a multitude of negative emotions: disappointment, sadness, anger, fear or a combination of these.

Disappointment can also lead us to a place of wandering as we wonder if somehow God has missed something. Does God realize how important this is to me - my family? Doesn’t God care about how much this hurts?!  Isn’t God all-powerful?!  How did he let this happen; more importantly, WHY did he allow this to happen?

Perhaps the word disappointment is too vague. Merriam Webster defines disappointment as “the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the unfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.” Some synonyms include: sadness, regret, dismay, sorrow, letdown, and my personal favorite, washout. Actually, I have felt completely washed out by disappointment a time or two. Haven’t you? Disappointment hurts. Simply put, disappointment on any level is unmet expectation or hope - heartache. Sometimes when I’m disappointed,  it seems as though my soul aches.

Disappointment can  break our hearts for so many different reasons. Maybe your child has their own tender heart broken; maybe you thought the new job opportunity, the new relationship/marriage, the new degree, the you-fill-in-the blank would be your new great adventure. Perhaps you thought this is a chance to rejuvenate yourself. However, instead, maybe you got fired or you weren’t the one hired, or on a very personal level someone told you they loved another person better than you.

These situations, whether we see their arrival coming in the distance, or we are completely blind-sided by them, it hurts deeply. Yet, we know it is part of the natural flow of life on this planet.  So, what do we do with disappointment? What do we do with the frustrated shards of our broken heart and deferred dreams?  Our minds race with dark thoughts of inadequacy and deep longing. We are sure we will never be whole again!

Dear one, I know. I have been in the pit of disappointment more times than I’d like to recall. I have had my heart smashed and my dreams destroyed. But, here’s the good news, there is hope. This haunting hurt can be healed - not forgotten - healed. This is something I know full well because it is what I have lived each time disappointment has washed over me.

By nature, I am an optimistic dreamer - an idealist. Therefore, disappointment, in varying degrees, has been a frequent visitor in my life.  I almost cannot help myself especially when a seemingly bright opportunity presents itself. I automatically begin to imagine my life altered by the assumed result. So, when I open the door to disappointment instead of desire, I am tempted to stomp my feet and pout! Sometimes, disappointment came to me when what I wanted and expected was unreasonable. Other times, my aspirations were reasonable - logically the next step - even godly goals. Really, it doesn’t matter what the reason, disappointment and hurt leave us reeling.  Is this true for you, too?

However, once the shock passes and I am able to step back and calm down a bit, I come to the same conclusion every time. Are you ready for this? It can be a cliff-hanging, life-altering faith-challenger! If I believe God is in control, isn’t he also in control of whatever has left me feeling broken? Yes, he is. That can be the tough pill to swallow. So, back to our original question, WHY disappointment? He’s God, right? He can do, or prevent, anything can’t he?

As hard as it may be to process, sometimes, we are disappointed and hurt because God is in control. Allow me to clarify. No matter how necessary, logical, or elaborate the wish or genuine effort toward the goal, God loves us too much to allow a greater disaster. Sometimes, we want something so badly, but it is the worst possible scenario for the pattern of our lives.

You see, God knows all and sees all that has happened or could ever happen from beginning to end. He is the Alpha and Omega and everything in between. He knows what is good for us and he knows what we need and exactly what we do not need. So, the next time you wrestle with disappointment, take your hurt to Jesus. Ask him to help you accept what he has done for you.

Regardless of the details, the message will be one of love. His plans are better than any plans we could make. I know this first verse gets a lot of press, but try to to read it like it’s the first time and let the following, less famous verses, nourish your heart and soul.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NIV):
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

When was the last time disappointment held you captive?

What did it prevent you from seeing or realizing?

How can this be shifted when we realize God is in the situation?

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For more about Relevant Women -

The purpose of Relevant Women:
Relevant Women exists to train women to minister relevantly, to discover and grow in God’s call in their lives and to serve in their churches as godly leaders.

RW accomplishes this by:
•Teaching life changing truth
•Building significant relationships
•Practicing spiritual disciplines
•Defining our personal stories
•Developing our personal ministry

At Relevant Ministry, our vision is to equip leaders to minister relevantly in churches that will be healthy and thriving.

Our mission, to fulfill this vision, is training future leaders - building healthy ministries - and serving on the Gulf Coast. 

1 comment:

  1. I really needed this due to some disappointments I have had to deal with lately.


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